What's on Annie's mind this week? #GETSHITDONE
The heat got the best of me this weekend...yes, those that follow me on FaceBook know I took a 4-hour nap on Sunday. Also this weekend my husband came back from his Army Annual Training a little early on Saturday afternoon. We had 2 birthday parties and a wedding to attend on Saturday. By the second birthday my husband was asleep in a lawn chair in our friends backyard...we still had to run home and change for a wedding reception. Well, we never made it to the wedding reception and I feel horrible but I know the bride completely understood that we just ran out of gas.
We all run out of gas on a day that throws us a monkey-wrench or you just didn't sleep well because the heat. But what can we do not to snap at our loved ones, drink too much caffeine so you cannot fall asleep to catch up on sleep or not being able to function? We need to sleep! We need to rest! We need to vacation! We need to spend time with people we love! We need to just say no.
My big lesson from this weekend that I preach to my clients and my friends is that sometimes we just need to say thank you but no. Why is it so hard for me and all of us to say no?
We don't want to hurt or disappointment people- Sometimes when we say yes when we should be saying no to make others feel better we are really hurting ourselves. Making others feel better is not our job nor its not their job to make you feel better of its something that we do not want to do.
- Conflict is a bitch- I know when I was at my corporate job I was afraid of conflict and said yes when I should have been saying no. I didn't want others, especially my boss to be angry with me or become overly critical of my work. So I avoided saying no which made me even more miserable than I already was.
- Pure peer pressure- we are pulled by a desire to fit in with and be liked by our peers. We desire love and acceptance by our friends, people we want to be friends with. Saying yes is a way of establishing and maintaining a sense worthiness. We want our new friends to think we are cool, unselfish and generous.
How do we then say no?
- Think about it- get back to the person asking you to do the task.
- Practice- saying no in small situations, like not buying those amazing girl scout cookies.
- Ask for advice- find a peer or a mentor and discuss it, even if its something you think is too small, someone has already been in that situation and might have good advice to give.
I am not perfect and sometimes I say yes more than I say no but we all are a work in process.